1. NOVEL LAWSUIT BLAMES LANDOWNERS FOR MAUI FIRE
An Arizona man who lost his daughter in the Lahaina fire is suing three major landowners. In an apparent first, he contends property owners allowed invasive grass species to grow rampant on their property in fire-prone areas, which was inherently dangerous. Downed power lines sparked flames, fueled by the grass, that engulfed homes, businesses, and escape routes. At least 97 people died. He seeks to hold the landowners, which include Hawaii, Maui County, and a private entity “strictly liable.” That standard doesn’t require him to prove negligence. If successful, it could foment a wave of similar lawsuits against property owners in the wake of increasingly common and catastrophic wildfires.
2. HAVE YOU SEEN OUR JET? #CRASH #HELP #PENTAGON
A bumpy ride for the Pentagon this week. A pilot ejected from an $80M F-35 stealth fighter near a joint base in South Carolina. Searchers found the pilot, but the crashed jet stayed stealth. In a panic it might be hacked, officials turned to social media and launched a hotline asking for help finding the plane. People immediately and mercilessly poked top fun. One lawmaker landed a particularly hot shot, “How the hell do you lose an F-35?” Welp, the military says the jet’s coated with all the right stuff to make it hard to see and its transponder malfunctioned. They found it 28 hours later. Their pride? Still missing.
3. MAN SUES HOSPITAL FOR LETTING HIM WATCH C-SECTION
Could this be proof that if men had babies, there’d be far fewer babies? An Australian man says watching his wife’s cesarean section made him psychotic and he sued the hospital for letting him do it. In his $643M lawsuit, he argued the hospital failed in its duty of care to him by not just letting him but encouraging him to watch. He claimed seeing his wife’s surgery – no barrel of monkeys for her – psychologically injured him, destroying his marriage. Though we suspect that wasn’t the only reason. The man represented himself, natch, but his efforts weren’t fruitful and multiplying. The judge dismissed the case.
4. JUDGE: MUSEUM’S GOT A BLANK SPACE BABY, PAY UP
Nice try. But an artist who submitted blank canvases titled “Take the Money and Run” to a Danish museum has been ordered to take the money he ran away with and bring it back. The museum gave him $84K to create two pieces that involved embedding bank notes on canvas. Instead, curators received two rectangle voids. The artist explained his work was that he’d taken their money and run. Get it? Oh they got it. With complete disDane the museum sued. The judge exhibited agreement and told the artiste to return most of the money. But much like those empty canvases, he says, so too is his bank account.
5. CULTURE WAR AT OKTOBERFEST NOT ABOUT BEER
A schtorm’s brewerying at the world’s biggest beer bash. A vendor at Germany’s marquee Oktoberfest venue in Munich broke with tradition and is serving organic chicken. Besides bier, chicken’s the most popular thing to consume. But the organic fowl costs a lot more buck, buck, bucks than nonorganic. And that’s twisted many festers’ pretzels especially since beer is more expensive this year too. All of it has fermented a culture war. Traditionalists say turning Oktoberfest’s celebration of giant beers and hearty food into und vehicle to promote organic farming is the woke wurst. But activists want the Bavarian bruhaha to zapft the keg on sustainability to meet Germany’s climate-neutral goals.