Legal news, some illegal. All of it interesting
1. HOA Puts Squeeze on Kids’ Lemonade Stand
Deep in a Colorado suburb, a homeowners association is fighting citrus street crime and pesky kids who need to grove up already. No sugar-coating here – we’re talking lemonade stands. HOA tuffies, aka Vitamin Censationalists, called the cops to report an illegal lemonade stand. When sheriff’s deputies arrived, they peeled the mean streets and found the juicenile delinquents. Instead of shutting them down, they had them move back from the road for their safety and left. HOAters called again, saying “Orange you gonna stop them?” But the children’s parents live in the development, so they weren’t trespassing. The lemonade stands. Besides, Colorado law protects children’s right to sell lemonade.
2. It’s Not Me It’s Your Politics – DC Divorces
Lawyers in the D.C. area say tumultuous disagreements, rampant polarization, and gaping partisan divides are tearing apart the foundations of – not democracy – marriages. Family law attorneys admit they’re seeing more divorces and custody battles instigated by differing political beliefs. They say COVID began socially distancing couples along ideological lines and it’s only gotten worse. In many cases divorcing spouses perceive that their partners’ views have gone from moderate to extreme. That elephant or donkey in the room, along with their social media posts, then factor into custody fights as one parent takes issue with the other’s automatic weapons around the house or another’s stance on LGBTQ+ issues.
3. Boneless Wings Can Have Bones, Sorry
Hear ye, hear ye – if you eat a boneless chicken wing, you do so knowing it’s neither a chicken wing – it’s breast meat – nor for sure boneless. So says a divided Ohio Supreme Court. A man had a bone to pick with his local wing joint, namely a bone in his usual order of boneless wings with parmesan garlic sauce, tore his esophagus. His lawsuit accused the restaurant and its supplier of failing to warn him that there might be bones in something labeled “boneless.” But in a 4-3 ruling, the Ohio Supremes said “boneless wings” refers to a cooking style, so eaters beware, chickens have bones. You’ve been warned.
4. Army’s $11M Marketing Deal with Rock a Smackdown?
The U.S. Army’s questioning the millions (AND MILLIONS) it spent on a marketing deal with the United Football League and owner Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. It may ask for some of the $11M back. Johnson was supposed to publish pro-enlistment posts to his 396M followers on social media. The deal also included prominent Army branding during UFL games. But an internal review shows the Army expects to lose enlistments. UFL viewership has been dismal, and officials say they couldn’t even smell what The Rock was cooking because he didn’t post to social media like they expected. Army peeps say The Rock’s a good partner but they’re working to “rebalance” the contract.
5. Florida Hwy Patrol Wins Prettiest Cruiser (Seriously)
Olympics, scholympics. The real competition is here in the U.S. where the Florida Highway Patrol has taken the gold. Its patrol car won the “America’s Best Looking Cruiser” competition, for the second year in a row. Yeah, it’s kind of a big wheel. The American Association of State Troopers holds the comely cruiser contest annually. Florida’s head of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles said that this year they took the competition to new heights – snapping the cruiser’s fine lines with a rocket blasting off from Cape Canaveral in the background. Get it, new heights? Frankly, Nebraska couldn’t compete with grain silos. Forty-nine states competed.
