High Five Newsletter 5/30

MAY 30, 2024 | PRACTUS LLP

High Five Newsletter 5/30

Authored by Carol Rose

Legal news, some illegal. All of it interesting

1. Altared State: Wedding Dress Designer Settles Suit

Wedding dress designer Hayley Paige Gutman settled a lawsuit from her ex, JLM Couture, that accused her of breaking her noncompete vows. The agreement ends irreconcilable differences over who gets custody of the “Hayley Paige” name and social media. Gutman claimed she brought the accounts into the marriage, and they’re personal. But JLM – now in bankruptcy – argued she cheated, using them to hawk non-JLM products and alienate bridal stores from working with them.  This after all it did for her – getting her on TLC’s Say Yes to the Dress and fostering her fame. Gutman keeps her social media but pays $263K in mild support and stays true to the 2025 noncompete.

Divorce courture here…

2. CEO Not Into Safety Heading Openai Safety Team

OpenAI has created a new Safety and Security Committee. Don’t confuse this with the committee tasked with protecting humanity that it recently dissolved. No, this new and better group now responsible for keeping the Death Star at bay will be led by CEO Darth Altman and two Empire-friendly board members. That’s despite revelations from ousted board members that they tried to fire Altman because he lied to them about his ownership of the OpenAI startup fund, claiming to be an independent board member, misled them about efforts to address safety issues, and acted like an evil robot on several other matters. But we asked ChatGPT and it says not to worry.

No balance in the force here…

3. Cybertruck’s Extremely Rough Around the Edges

Tesla’s delivery of Cybertrucks has been a little rough around the edges, literally and figuratively, with recalls, coolant leaks, and more. In Tesla’s defense, Cybertruck customers are the kind that stick their fingers in a slamming “frunk” door to prove it’s safe, almost break their fingers, then post it online. Go Cybertruck. But the edgy Cybertruck is so edgy it’s cutting customers. People have reported cutting their legs on the sharp door panels. One man gashed his wrist trying to wipe off the tailgate and ended up in the ER. After posting his bloody wrist (of course) he said the Cybertruck’s still awesome. Because of course he did.  

Get a tetanus shot here…

4. True Crime: 81-year-old Elderly Slingshot Serial Shooter

Trigger warning. What you’re about to read could be disturbing. A Southern California neighborhood has been terrorized as windows broke around them. Cars, houses, peace of mind – shattered by little ball bearings. What was at work here? More importantly, who? Nearly a decade would pass before police realized the shards of glass pointed to a serial window killer with a slingshot. Detective discerned a shooting pattern that they triangulated back to one house. Surveillance began and it wasn’t long before the 81-year-old resident emerged with a slingshot, pellets, and mischief on the mind. He fired away and officers arrested him. He’s facing felony vandalism charges and probably won’t be invited to the neighborhood barbecue.

Old case files here…

5. A Radical Act of Rebowelion Planned in Paris

France has spent more than $1.3B to clean la Seine ahead of this summer’s Olympic games. Not everyone thinks those Euros were well spent. When President Emmanuel Macron and Paris’ mayor announced they’ll swim in the river next month to prove les excréments have gone poodini, a bowel movement erupted on social media. People are planning a flash poop, pledging to caca en masse in the Siene when Macron swims. There’s even a website so the E. colilective can enter where they’ll deux their business. What does it all meme? A lot of memes. And protests aside, experts are concerned about continued sewage findings in the river.

Stool runnings here…

The Authors

This Practus, LLP publication should not be construed as legal advice or legal opinion on any specific facts or circumstances. The contents are intended for general informational purposes only, and you are urged to consult your own lawyer on any specific legal questions you may have concerning your situation.

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