Legal news, some illegal. All of it interesting
1. Paws and Order: Dog Fight Over Courthouse Pooches
There’s a growing pack of comfort dogs at U.S. courthouses, especially out West, but they’re giving some defense attorneys discomfort. Woof. Courthouse dogs, usually black labs or golden retrievers, work with prosecutors or victim advocates to soothe witnesses testifying in court or alleged crime victims, especially children, during police interviews. More than 300 dogs work and wag – some of them in little bow ties at trial. Stop it. But cuteness aside, defense attorneys howl that these sweet, furry companions are unfair to defendants because they signal to jurors that alleged victims are sympathetic or vulnerable, and the accused – no dogs for them – are not.
2. Snakes Alive! Celeb Designer Gets Prison Time
Handbag designer to the stars, Nancy Gonzalez, is facing some serious boa constriction of her personal freedom. She pled guilty to charges of viperactivity – smuggling hundreds of handbags made from the skins of protected pythons and caiman. Gonzalez, who received an 18-month sentence, admitted to recruiting as many as 40 couriers to tote her bags – think dead snakes on a plane – into the U.S. from her native Colombia. The designer’s attorney accused federal prosecutors of being purse-snickety, saying only 1% of Gonzalez’s bags lacked proper authorization. But with Gonzalez’s luxury handbag company now hiss-tory, the real question is what will the Olsen Twins clutch?
3. We Get It, a Snake Bit You. Crikey, Leave It at Home
Speaking of snakes, enough is enough. Medical experts in Australia have had it with snakes on a gurney and are asking snake bite victims to quit bringing the damn things with them to the ER. Like, anaconda just not? They’re doctors and nurses, not civil serpents, so that deadly viper brought into a Queensland ER this month? Not helpful, mate. The cold-blooded truth is that staff couldn’t assist the victim until after they dealt with the snake. Doctors say listen to them if you want to live – they can perform tests to determine whether antivenom’s needed and what kind. Wrap your copperhead around that and leave the snake at home.
4. Cold, Hard Cash Scam, Colder Uncle, at a Bank
A Brazilian woman faces charges for bringing her dead uncle into a bank to take out a loan – for her, natch. Police think Uncle had cashed out at least two hours earlier. Bank employees were immediately alarmed by the man’s pallor and floppy head as the niece urged him to sign a paper while she held the pen in his hands. One attendant commented that it didn’t feel legal because he looked pale and you know, not alive. But the niece responded that dear Uncle’s just like that (super chill?) and maybe they’d go to the hospital, after he signed. She also swears she didn’t know he was dead. Ok.
Your interest is growing here…
5. No Pizza or Gilato After Midnight in Italy?
Milan wants late night gelato and pizza runs finito. The city’s deputy mayor for security announced that the sale of takeaway food and drink after midnight is going arrivederci. It all begs la questione, who or what went la pipi in his cappuccino? He blames excessive noise the residential areas of Milan’s busiest districts. But critics say mamma mia! The ban goes against Italian culture, especially in a city known for having the primo gelato in the world. Italian retailers says the ordinance means a famiglia who goes out for pizza and then walks to get gelato could be fined. Pazzo! Plus, they say midnight’s too early.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie go home here…
