Legal news, some illegal. All of it interesting
1. Lambslide: Rancher Jailed for Cloning Giant Sheep
An 81-year-old Montana rancher had big plans for big sheep. Now he’s counting them in federal prison for six months. Arthur Schubarth cloned a 300-pound Marco Polo baaaad boy to sell to game ranches. Bigger trophies bring bigger bucks and don’t we all want world fleece? His wool runnings began in 2013 when he got cloning DNA from a sheep his son hunted in Kyrgyzstan. Then Schubarth sold his clone’s, ahem, goods to ranchers all over the country. Since nothing about this was legal, Schubert couldn’t dodge ram charges forever. Feds eventually said, “goat ya,” leveling animal trafficking and conspiracy charges. Ram-ifications go beyond jail time. Authorities also confiscated his ranch.
2. Road Markings Not a Game of Twister – Just Looks Like It
Officials wanted to make the streets outside two UK schools safer, but word on the street, literally, is that now they’re just confusing. Children helped design the new street markings which include triangles, circles, and swirls – none of which conform to Highway Codes. Planners say the designs, paid for with a $460K grant, slow drivers by attracting their attention. Some parents worry that the fun dots and shapes also draw kids’ attention, by making the street – where cars drive – look like a playground where children play. See the problem, mate? Why’d the nipper cross the road? To play in the street, ammiright? City planners say they appreciate the feedback.
3. Jake From State Farm Stepped in It With Atari
Atari fired off (pew, pew, pew) a copyright infringement lawsuit aimed at Jake, from State Farm. It claims the insurer of improperly appropriated artwork from an 80s arcade game for an advertisement. The suit asks, “What are you wearing, Jake, from State Farm?” Not really, but it does level up on drama, claiming the ad was part of a “cynical plot” to look cool to younger consumers. And the scene where Jake slaps the machine to make it work? Well, Atari says that Fonzie move suggests “falsely and disparagingly that its cabinets are low quality, faulty, and/or unreliable.” State Farm tried and failed (wa wa wa) to get the suit dismissed.
This suit sounds hideous here…
4. Detroit “Bridgerton Ball” a Lady Whistledowner
Dearest Readers, attendees of a ball in Detroit inspired by the hit Netflix series “Bridgerton,” feel scammed. They paid hundreds of dollars for “an evening of historical charm and sophistication.” But their night on the ton went viral for all the wrong reasons. They expected a beautiful, richly decorated ballroom. Instead, they got paper decorations that may or may not have been wrapping paper taped to walls, a lone violinist, and – a pole dancer. Yeah, we’re not sure of the historical accuracy of that last one either, but the performer says she gave them a variety of performance options and they chose pole dancing. Meanwhile, organizers say they’re working to address concerns.
5. Cybertruck Owners Let’s Be Real About Kids’ Song
Owners of Tesla Cybertrucks may have crossed the line. It started with the online forum, Cybertruckownersclub, where stans share videos of themselves polishing their trucks, installing Caliper Brake Covers, or ranting at the haters (looking at you Consumer Reports) questioning anything, ever about the quality of their beloved CTs. But now, there’s the viral Cybertruck song “for kids.” Someone has to say it. Children are not the ones pushing this song viral. With lyrics such as, “like a rocket ship taking off with a blast! Quite a shock it is, everybody’s aghast;” this is all grownups blasting it on repeat. UBU. Quit blaming the kids.
